My name is David, and I don't believe in God

Atheist: A person which disbeliefs or lacks belief in the existence of God or gods.

Agnostic: One who is committed to believing in either the existence or the nonexistence of God or gods.

Christian: A follower of Christ

Well, my family is Catholic. They believe in God but for me, it makes no sense why I would believe in something I can’t see or touch. Thanks why I left the religion once I moved out for College. So are you an Atheist? I ask. Yes, I am. Matthew replies. 

This was around November 2018. It was on his birthday. I wanted to put a smile on his face so I booked a reservation for two at a chill karaoke bar Downtown Chicago. We had just started dating but the chemistry was over the moon. We were so in love. It was like our souls connected on a deeper level. Just like in romance movies. Butterflies in my tummy. Blushing like a child who was handed her favorite candy. I was in a fairy tale until he dropped the bombshell. I’m an Atheist. 

I instantly felt numb. I was so shocked by what he said that my whole body was deprived of the power of physical sensation. It’s strange how one word can change everything! You may be thinking ‘well I would have asked him this question before agreeing to date him.’ But the thing is, I never expected someone with a biblical name to be an unbeliever. And unbelievers aren’t that common in the country I am from. With over 90% Nigerians being Muslims and Christians, It’s very unlikely that there would be a Matthew who is an Atheist. 

So why don’t you believe in God? My parents forced the Catholic religion on me. I was an altar boy as a child but I was never allowed to question the religion. I felt choked so I left for good. 

I honestly get it! his concerns. Yes, I will admit that I also have been in a situation where my parents may have forced me to attend a church service. But as I grow older, Christianity becomes a personal decision. With so much independence, I have the right to decide if I want to be a Christian, an Agnostic or an Atheist. This is not to ignore the fact that we are generally inclined to be in the same religion as our parents. And also, you don’t try BS with an African parent unless you want to get disowned haha. But luckily for me, I felt that personal touch from God that strengthened my spirituality. So to me, it felt sad Matthew couldn’t feel it too. The connection I have with God. And what’s alarming is that I met more men like him. Meet David.

 

Hmmm, Intense right? That’s exactly how I felt replying to his last text. It is important to note that David’s argument against religion, in particular, was backed up by his knowledge from studying Sociology. While being caught up in the need to defend my stance, I failed to ask David his personal opinion about God, not what society taught him. And it kills me, to know that a man named after God’s own heart doesn’t acknowledge His existence. The conversation continued and David stated that he was also born into a Christian family – hence the name. But just as in the case of Matthew, He was coerced by his family to believe and never truly built a personal relationship with God. So he studied Sociology for answers. 

So what’s up with Matthew, David, and Atheism?

While these are just 2 examples, I met other guys that are not religious because of similar reasons. To be honest, to find a good Christian partner in the States would require a lot of patience and dedication. In the case of Nigeria, if a guy approaches you, at least you don’t have to be worried about him believing in God because he’s most likely a Christian or Muslim. That’s not the case in the US, there’s an extra layer of stress. The stress of finding out the religious stance of your partner if that is important to you in a relationship. This is because Americans value their freedom a lot. Their freedom to explore every aspect of their lives whether sex, religion or ambition. Nothing less is expected from a state referred to as land of the free. See how the first question David asked when I told him I am a Christian is about sex and celibacy? Whatever may restrict their individual/personal pursuits is seen as a threat. And as noted by David, Christianity is declining. Unlike Nigeria, only 65% of polled American adults in 2019 identify as Christians. And only 45% of those polled claim to attend church services. 

The 2019 poll result is 12% lower than 78% from 2012. Showing how rapidly the population of people who are Christians is decreasing. And the population of increasing unbelievers. 4% of American adults say they are atheists as of 2019, which is an increase from 2% in 2009. 5% of Americans are agnostics, up from 3% a decade ago.  

‘I was coerced.’This is the recurring statement given as reasons why these men left the Christian religion. This has to stop! Christianity is a personal race. The bible encourages soul winning but also acknowledges the importance of free will. I understand Proverbs 22:6 applies to every Christian parent on how to raise their kids. And we all pray that a child knows the Lord. But when the actions to save a child destroys him, there is a problem! And unfortunately, Millennials between the ages of 39 to 24 are turning away from Christ because of these extra measures. So what if the bible is preached in a more welcoming way? What if children are allowed to state their opinions about the word of God. What they like and/or dislike. What if they are allowed to question the bible? What if they are allowed to question their faith? I believe that’s when they will truly get the answers to questions that may dissuade them. That’s when they will create a long-lasting relationship with God.

Check out the article on my National Youth Service Corp (NYSC) in Nigeria.